


The art of coming out

by Irenejis



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Making Up, Panic, Running Away, Video Cameras
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:00:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29848110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irenejis/pseuds/Irenejis
Summary: Phil wants to film the "coming out" video with Dan. Dan panics and runs away. Then when he comes home, he explains everything and in the end, they figure out the way to tell the fans.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Kudos: 7





	The art of coming out

**Author's Note:**

> So... Apparently, I have a thing for Dan running away, a lot of panicking, and making up :D

They were ready.  
They wanted to do this.  
The fans deserve it.

Phil was setting the camera ready, while Dan fixed his brown curls for what seemed like a hundred times today. They were both so nervous about filming this specific video, but Dan was visibly panicking. He was restless, his hands were shaking so much and his breath was coming out in short puffs. The idea was in their minds for a long time, for a couple of years. They wanted to finally feel like themselves, feel happy, and have no secrets between them and their fans. _  
  
  
It happened a week ago. Dan was sitting in the lounge in his natural browsing position, scrolling through Tumblr. Suddenly he felt the couch dip next to him and warm hands sliding around his waist. Phil’s hot breath was tickling the shell of his ear as he leaned closer to his boyfriend. “  
Hey, I was thinking…” Phil said in a seductive voice and briefly kissed the ear.  
Dan shivered, but he still leaned in for more lips-to-skin contact.   
“About what?” he asked quietly as if the louder noise would scare Phil off.   
“I think it’s time.” Phil nuzzled Dan’s neck with his nose, Dan jumping a little because the tip of Phil’s nose is always too goddamn cold.   
“Time for what?” asked Dan with half-closed eyelids, feeling intoxicated by the delicious scent of his eager lover.   
He thought Phil came here because he wanted to take Dan to the bed and make sweet, sweet love to him, but it was clear that Phil’s intentions were somewhere else.   
Phil jumped in front of Dan and stared right into his eyes.   
“Dan, I… I want to come out,” blurted Phil.   
Dan was confused for a moment, brows furrowed.   
“To the fans,” clarified Phil.   
“Oh... You... Do you want to? Really? Shouldn’t we wait-...?"   
“No! I don’t want to pretend anymore. I... I can’t stand faking this part of my life. I know we’ve both talked about filming the coming out video and I want to do it.”   
It was true, they got some plans on how the video could look like but for Dan, it was only an idea on paper and the actual process of making a video was scaring him to death.   
He was finally okay with calling himself gay and wasn’t ashamed of it, but he still feared the reaction of his (their) fans.   
He knew that it was only his mental problems speaking, but what if they hate them? What if they threaten him, threaten Phil?   
He can handle a few means words of some internet trolls but what about Phil?   
He was so sweet and if his fans turn their backs on him, he will never overcome it.   
But Phil looked so determined, and he wanted to make his boyfriend happy. So Dan just nodded and kissed Phil deeply, maybe to calm his nerves, maybe to reassure himself that this decision is right._

The camera was on. They were sitting next to each other, secretly holding hands out of the frame. Coming out as a couple was a story for another time.  
“Hey, guys,” greeted Phil in his usual ringing voice he used frequently in his videos. Dan reminded silent.  
“Today, we are here with a big announcement! So strap yourself in, because this might be a shock for you,” continued Phil.  
“So, Dan and I wanted to tell you something very important and very personal for both of us,” Phil made a gesture with his hands. Dan was still silently sitting next to him.  
Suddenly it all felt too much. The walls were suffocating him, Phil’s T-shirt was too bright and his whole body felt too tight.  
He didn’t even know he stood up. Phil was looking at him like he was crazy. Dan couldn’t look his lover in the eyes. He muttered quietly “I’m sorry, can’t do this…” and ran out of the apartment. Phil heard the sound of the front door clicking and that was it. He was all alone.   
  
Phil was sat on the bed in his bedroom. It wasn’t his bed anymore, it was theirs. He was **confused**. He was **hurt**. But most importantly, he was **scared**.  
What if Dan gets hurt? What if someone wanted to kill him? What if… Dan never wants to see him again and breaks up with him? No, this couldn’t be happening.  
This isn’t right, Dan would never leave him like that…  
Of course, Phil tried to call him. It was the first thing he did. He was welcomed with Dan’s ringtone coming out of the kitchen. Dan left the phone at home, great.   
Phil started tearing up. He felt terrible. He didn’t want anything more than to curl up next to his boyfriend and work this situation out, together.   
  
The clock on the bedside table displayed numbers 23:24 as Dan slipped into the bed.  
“Dan?” said Phil quietly.  
“Shh, just go back to sleep,” answered Dan and snuggled closer to Phil, gently wrapping his arm around his lover’s middle.   
  
They were both fully awake by 8:47, sitting opposite each other on the bed. Phil spoke first. “What happened yesterday?” he almost whispered.  
Dan’s head was hanging low between his shoulders and he looked ashamed.  
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I want to explain. I ran because I was scared. No, let me talk,” Dan shushed Phil with a swing of his hand.  
“I wasn’t ashamed. I am okay with accepting myself as gay, but I was scared of the reactions, of someone saying something mean to you because I know how much this thing matters to you. I know that I should have just told you that I wasn’t feeling ready, but you were so happy, and I couldn’t bring myself to ruin your happiness,” admitted Dan.  
Phil was staring at him with a blank expression and in the next second his arms were around Dan’s neck.  
“I love you so much, you know? I’m still mad at you, but I love you,” Phil murmured into Dan’s skin.  
“I want to make that video, I really do, but I think that we need to do this separately. I might have some ideas…” whispered Dan and tighten his grip around Phil.  
  
  
Phil was looking at the screen of Dan’s computer, the file labeled _Basically I’m Gay_ waiting for him to be played. He pressed the play button and the picture of Dan in a black glitter jacket in front of a black background started moving.  
“ _Hello, internet_ ,” rang through the speakers, and Dan on the screen made his well-known hand gesture.  
Next, there was footage of what you should expect from the video.  
Then there was Dan again, saying: “ _Spoiler alert. I’m not straight._ ”  
  
  
Phil hit the stop button and turned around on the chair to look at the real Dan, standing behind him, nervously biting his lower lip.  
“I’m so proud of you, my lovely Bear,” he said to Dan and gave him a warm smile.  
“This is exactly how we should do this. I’ve never felt happier in my life,” said Dan as he slowly approached Phil.  
He bowed his head lower and kissed Phil, slowly, with unspoken emotions that didn’t need any clarification in words, it was pure and honest _love_. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this story!  
> Sorry for the possible mistakes (English is not my first language).


End file.
